Four Square

Four girls stand on four corners. When they look up and down they see their sisters, when they look across they see their best friends, and when they look diagonally to the farthest corner they see their alma gemela. These connections woven together make a crochet square. 

Starting the square is Jenni and me. Our keeping each other alive and defined (no matter how much we resent it) makes one side. The opposite side is Jennie and Vicki, road-dogs forever. They have faced everything together, even each other. On the surface, they are the sisters that everyone wishes they could be, and underneath the turmoil makes them so much more. The first horizontal edge is Vick and me. We see each other three or four times a year, and talk only a little more frequently on the phone. But she is my soul mate, and I’ll never grow away from that. I am her guardian angel and she is my north star. She is home and I am hope. Opposite us are the sisters we forced together and that then grew out of our control. They speak little, but there is such an understanding between them that talking (which they hate) is unnecessary. They find in each other the strength to deal with their little sisters. 

And then there are the cross-stitches - the odd connections that nobody expected that make our square invincible. Vicki and Jenni are underdogs. They function well in shadows, though they resent being there. They blame those who cast them instead of themselves for not leaving them. They are quiet girls who all want to hear. They prefer to be watchers and listeners. Jennie and I are the forward guard. And we resent being the ones who always have to stand front and center, though there is no one forcing us to be there. We are drawn to others, and draw them to us. We think about things, and we think about your things. We want to stand where we can see everything. 

Every year we become closer knit. Occurrences and happenings are being woven into our square. There is sadness there, and age and distance. But there is also time and proof. It is the most beautiful thing I own, and I wrap myself in it to keep myself safe and loved. It’s all, always, happening with the YooHoos.